Isaiah 40:31a
… they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength…
I tell my kids to wait all the time. Their eagerness and excitement mixed with anticipation is frequently tempered by my reminders to be patient. Soon, later, almost, in a little while, not yet…
What strikes me is the trust inherent in waiting. My kids don’t doubt that I will deliver. But they do become discontent with waiting, evidenced by their petitions turning to whining. And whining is selfish.
I see this in myself when I have to wait on the Lord. At first I am eager and excited, but then when the days and months and years drag on, I am tempted by discontentment because I become selfish. Yet, my trust in the Lord is settled; I trust Him with every aspect of my being.
Being sensitive to the sin of discontentment (for the Lord orders all my circumstances), my efforts to not sin in this way lead to a mental abandonment of the very thing I was eager towards in the first place. It seems to be a form of insulation towards the disappointment of the apparent delay of my God. Sadly, as a matter of consequence, the excitement fades away too.
It is like me saying, “Okay Lord, the ball is on Your side of the court. Wake me up when You decide to throw it back my way.”
And this lack of excitement tends towards the mundane which can lead to the temptation of self-pity. But again, sensitive to the sin of self-pity, I keep active. I engage in a form of routine Bible study, devotional reading, mixed with some prayers.
This all makes for a strange spiritual exercise. I am not quite certain I know how to properly wait on the Lord. I don’t want to whine, I don’t want to be discontent, I don’t want to have a pity-party… and I have gotten better at fending off those sins (by the grace of God). I do want to be patient, long-suffering, persevering… but I also want to know how to conduct myself in the midst of it all.
All I know is to read and meditate on His word, pray more, and wait.
Then it happens… though I am waiting (with awkwardness) on the big things for God to affect for me, little things occur by His hand that stirs up my latent excitement… like waking up from drifting off right at the moment my Metrorail destination is reached. This is exciting!
You see, I pray (as a matter of routine) everyday, thanking God for bringing me home safely through my 3 hour commute. This morning, He truly ordered my steps (and confirmed my prayers) by waking me up at the precise moment I needed to be awake.
I thank the Lord for His intimate involvement in my affairs, despite my clumsiness with my inner man.
Oh Lord, teach me wait on you as I should!
Jim
