The arrival of a new child into a family is a cause for joy. My newest daughter arrived about two and a half months ago. My wife and I were delighted, and especially so, for the pregnancy was a difficult one. Placenta previa had kept us home-bound and extra cautious. Thankfully, our baby was healthy and cute.
The arrival of a new child into a family is also a cause for stress. Our other children still required care and attention too. Consequently, a couple can easily get lost in the busyness of caring for four young children. Sleep-deprived nights because of middle of the night feedings, hyper siblings contending with their new sister for attention, with long days of household activity all contribute to lamentable old fatigue.
It is here something ugly can slip in… Enter the spectre of bitterness. Finding a fertile ground to plant such seeds, bitterness falls from the trees of careless words, sharp words, misinterpreted motives and score keeping. Against the backdrop of caring for a newborn, the recent Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays added additional stress. Now, with my daily routine of Bible study and meditation being altered by these circumstances, my nourishment on the Bread of Life was waning. I was wilting on the inside.
Look again and behold the seeds of bitterness rooting out into resentment and discontent. Many times I commented to myself, “How dare I be treated this way. Look at all I do. My actions are so helpful, too magnanimous to receive insensitivity in return”. I look down and see a stone. I pick it up and long to throw it. My uncomprehended sacrifices give me the right to cast the first stone! So I thought…
Such unChristian feelings and attitudes can bring the Lord’s chastening. First, God took away my joy. Then He took away my peace. And finally after zombie-like prayer… as if my true nature struggled to overcome my old nature… I felt the Lord’s conviction. The Lord was not forgiving me because I was not forgiving others (Matthew 6:15).
Oh how wretched I am. I don’t deserve anything. And yet I am commanded to love others even if they are unkind to me in return. Jesus did so, and so must I too.
Feeling my failures, I took a stroll to the Chesapeake Bay. I walked out there in the cold and gazed out onto the mostly frozen water. I was alone with God and I poured my heart out to Him. I confessed my sins and proclaimed my total dependence on Him. I repented of my selfish attitudes. And I look down and see stones along the bayshore…
“Lord, this stone represents my discontent. I forsake discontentment for I know all things come from You. Even painful things! ” I recited Romans 8:28 and with all my strength, I cast the large stone representing my sin of discontentment into the frozen bay. It shattered through the cold hard ice and sunk to the depths below.
And many such stones found their way, flying through the air, to crash through ice. I believe the Lord honored my symbolic stone casting. And I thank Him for such lessons.
Peace!